Sunday, June 8, 2014

Getting What We Need

There have been so many things I’ve thought to write about over the last few months.  Political, spiritual, just daily life.  I haven’t sat down to share my ideas about any of them, and now I can’t remember a single thing I had in mind.  Except…  (There’s always an exception, right?)

My writing.  I’m still writing The Scent of Forgiveness, and the idea of it still excites me.  It’s a little scary; I started out basing a lot of the book on my own experiences, tweaking the details and mixing things up.  As I wrote, Emerson took on a life of her own and (thank God) showed a strength and ability to learn and grow that far exceeded my own.  As pleased as I was by that, there was also a bit of panic that came along with it.  Maybe this book wasn’t going to be what I thought it was.

And that’s true.  It’s no longer the same book I envisioned.  For one thing, that book would be tremendously long—Gone with the Wind long—and would a publisher be interested in something that huge?  Another consideration was my growth and development as a spiritual being.  Some of the things I had originally planned might have worked for the sake of the story, and the writer in me wanted to be fearless.  But the spiritual side of me balked.  I remembered when, where, how and why some of the ideas had come to me.  Knowing that, could I really proceed and claim to be someone who followed God’s Light?

It took some time, some real soul searching, but gradually I embraced the new Emerson and her story.  Yeah, it’ a lot like mine in some ways, but it’s a lot different, too.  She’s going to get her happy ending—guaranteed—while mine is still a little bit up in the air.  Oh, it’s there for me—I really have no doubt of that—but the details are still somewhat murky.  And that’s okay.  That’s part of the deal, right?  Life doesn’t always give us what we want, but we always get what we need.



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